Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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