her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
And then my night got REAL pukey
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
