Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
only you would photoshop your dick
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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