He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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