weddingsv make me drug and hornr
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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