wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
