He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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