1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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