OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i love accidental penises.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
