Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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