No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
