I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
