She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
