I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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