Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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