you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
