But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
