If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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