why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
