I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
