"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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