Do you still have your period?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
time to smoke my breakfast
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
