u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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