just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She's the barista slut.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
