i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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