i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
