Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
