No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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