I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
