Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
