If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
