there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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