I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
