In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
