I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
