Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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