I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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