In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
