I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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