Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
