I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You are a genius and a whore.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
