i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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