He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
