remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
