what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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