yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
