I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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