I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
