google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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