So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
