So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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