yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
